Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
