Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
