ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
