didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
