got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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