I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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