She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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