haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize