And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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