She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
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I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
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Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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