Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.