Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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