I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
