She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize