i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
