Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
