the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
