Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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