why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.