the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
