we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
