Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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