Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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