I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
