Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
