i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
