Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
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