did you get engaged???
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
