then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
