Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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