He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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