He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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