why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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