I heard we made out
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
