I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
