evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
