He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
