shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
