good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
