I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
