the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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