i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
