My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
