It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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