How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
