No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Hello my rib-scented angel!
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
