I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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