He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
