So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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