Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
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in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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