Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
