Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
