Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
