What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
where am i from again
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
