I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
