make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
