scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
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You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
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He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize