you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
