We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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