I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize