Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
