remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
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I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
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What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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