I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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