just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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