I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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