I want to walk on stilts...naked
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Just cropdusted the office
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
