at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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