Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
