I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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