I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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