Ambien. No doubt about it.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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