Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
