Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
