Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Enjoy the penises
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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